Moment of Weakness

I haven't posted in what feels like forever.. I've been so busy that I haven't had time for anything except school work and I've managed to squeeze in a few runs..

I had a very mentally challenging night last night and morning today. I spent all day yesterday in the library studying for an essay exam that I had today in my forensics class. I studied for hours at a little cubby by wall to ceiling windows. For whatever reason, my ankle started hurting. I didn't run yesterday and I figured it was just a random pain and would go away.

It didn't go away. By the time I got home last night, I couldn't walk without my ankle brace and barely even then. I finally went to bed at 12 and figured I'd wake up in the morning feeling refreshed both mentally and physically. Alas, that didn't happen.. the throbbing in my ankle kept me awake.

I took a hot shower and that relieved my ankle pain almost completely, but it came right back when I got out. My mom took me to campus and planned to pick me up after my exam so I wouldn't have to walk as far. After my first class, I literally could not walk at all.. I somehow managed to get to the elevator, crying the whole way and called Brother to see if he could come pick me up and drive me across campus to my next building. That's when I tweeted:

SeeSaraRun Sara Weigel 

Arthritis hurts so bad that I can't walk. Brothers picking me up cuz I can't get to my next class. Sitting here crying & having a breakdown

I had such a negative morning. I haven't felt like that in a while. I actually felt sorry for myself. I kept thinking about everything that my ankle has forced me to miss out on and I was angry that it started hurting again and might not let me finish this marathon.

I slowly came around and realized the irrationality of my thought process. Anger is a useless emotion.. I can't control this and I can only do what I can do. Hopefully it'll start to warm up soon. Until it gets better I'll bike and I think I'll start swimming again. I really hate being negative and today it got the best of me. Everyone has been incredibly supportive and all the positive and hopeful messages I got really helped. Sorry about that moment of weakness.. =)